My communication style.

Did I say one thing and mean another? (No, at least not intentionally.) Can you interpret my emotions accurately by my facial expressions? (Maybe.) Can we help each other avoid misunderstanding when we communicate with each other? (Yes. See below for how.) Do I normally work and email at weird hours of the day, and does that mean I expect you to as well? (Yes, then absolutely not.)

I value good communication, though I continually work to be a better communicator, i.e. speaker and listener. It might help to

My professional communications are sincere.

No hidden meanings. In professional written and oral communication, I don’t use passive aggression or irony. Those are too likely to cause misunderstandings, and I think it’s pointless and counterproductive. Especially in my writing, there’s no hidden meaning. This means if you think I’m angry or something, I’m probably not; in the case that I am upset/angry AND it’s important that you know that, I should/will say that clearly.

My email sign-offs aren’t ironic. I am making a special note for this, because I’ve learned some people intentionally use these ironically, like “F*** you”. I don’t do that.

• just my name = my most common email ending. No hidden meaning. Totally neutral.

• “Thank you” or “Thanks” = literally thankful/appreciative/grateful

• “Sincerely” = please take this email seriously OR I’m being very formal

• “Regards” = I hope things are well with you.

• “Warm regards” = I probably know you well enough or likely you well enough to care more about you than just “Regards”

My facial expressions might be different than yours.

I have received feedback my whole life that people think I’m feeling one way that is very different than the truth because they have misinterpreted my facial expressions. In fact, I often look angry when I’m just thinking hard about something. Sometimes I look unsettled when I’m quite content. I might be upset with a neutral facial expression. I’ve adapted to the feedback by trying to make facial expressions that are unnatural to me in order to convey a meaning, but I may not get it right even then.

Therefore, I appreciate it when people don’t assume my emotions from my facial expressions, though, there may be some assumptions that turn out to be true. If you’d like to know if I’m upset or something, then please ask me and I will tell you. Usually if I’m angry or upset, it’s at something I did, like a silly mistake.

Tips to avoid misunderstanding!

I’m a literal thinker. I sometimes/often don’t catch tones, irony, sarcasm, or passive aggression, especially in written communications. I expect myself to ask for clarification when I don’t understand, but that requires that I realize I might have misinterpreted what another is saying. So please say what you mean to help us avoid misunderstanding.

Tone indicators exist! I love these tone indicators for written communication. They help us make sure our meaning is communicated well, especially when emojis aren’t an option. They are not widely known or used except for some small areas of social media (but we can change that 😊).

• /g or /gen = genuine

• /s = sarcastic

• /srs = serious

• /nm = not mad

• /j = joking

• See more here!

I work irregular hours / Emails

Currently, I need time flexibility to work my best, especially with the intellectual and experimental work that I do as a scientist. My job currently allows that. That means sometimes taking a day or two off M-F and working weekends, or working fewer hours on more days per week. That means not arriving in the lab at the same time every day and not leaving at the same time.

That also means reading emails at irregular hours, and sometimes sending them at irregular hours. However, I do not expect others to read or reply to emails during their non-work hours—however they define “work hours” for themselves—and I certainly don’t expect immediate responses (unless you’re in my immediate team and it’s an emergency or very important, but often that’s a text/call situation anyway). Did I send an email Friday after noon or while you’re on vacation? That is equivalent to me to sending it Monday morning or whenever you get back and have addressed your higher-priority emails. If it’s urgent, I’ll follow up. And if I’ve missed your urgent email, I don’t mind you sending me another one, and I’ll reply as soon as I can.